Author, CEO and Mother of four, Victorine Mbong Shu has published one of a series of books on Involved Parenting. The self-published book titled ‘Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting’ was launched on the 3rd of March 2016 in Johannesburg by Profounder Publishing and Self-publishing (2016) as she continues working on the second book. In her book, Victorine writes that children these days seem to grow up very successful but appear to be emotionally lacking. That parents, caregivers and guardians are faced with challenges in parenting that go beyond physically and consciously being there for their children. As a result, they pay schools and institutions who raise children in compromising manner. To Victorine, Employers and workplaces are faced with distracted parents who among other things, worry about the challenges of bringing up stable and fulfilled children. Policy-makers are accused of being focused on drafting policies that attract investors that are focused on financial and not conscious (immaterial) gains. Governments are criticised for implementing policies that do not favour parents and children. Victorine asks that where and when did all this begin and who can do what about all this?
DESCRIPTION OF THE BOOK
It is worth remembering that:
‘Only adults can make children what they become and hope to be.
‘Only adults can make children what they become and hope to be.
Most adults know this, some do not, but all children
will not know this unless they are taught’.
Stop Complaining! and Bring Back Involved Parenting is a book written to provoke not only parents, caregivers and guardians, but adults, institutions, policy-makers and governments in general, to come together and raise children in ways that they grow up valuing life. The book create an opportunity for adults to look back and try to find what went wrong in parenting that has caused so many breakdowns in value systems and cultures across the world. Without necessarily going into the details of ideals, the narratives in this book create a laid back reading companion. The book consider, with a sense of humour, the many distractions encountered by parents and adults in their daily parenting. It makes enjoyable reads because the book recount real life experiences of the author in her capacity as a spouse, a mother of four, a Chief Executive Officer and employer of parents and young adults, a multidisciplinary researcher, a motivational skills development facilitator and an author.
In this book, Victorine describes how mothering with joy, trials and tribulations has kept her going as a motivated and involved parent. She brings a lot of diversity into the book by sharing cases of mothers, fathers, married couples, separated couples, estranged couples, same-sex parents, biological parents, parents of adopted children, relatives who parent, friends parent, neighbours parent, and also institutional caregivers. However, she is adamant that she has chosen how she defines her parenting style, how she chooses to live with her children and her spouse and how she needs to navigate her daily activities; just like everyone else. Even though Victorine provokes all spheres by questioning the capability of parents, institutions and governments in current times, she encourages you to read this book to help with coping strategies. As you read, you will find out how families have managed to bring up children in times where more effort is being put into parenting than in the benefits reaped from being a parent.
To stop complaining and becoming an involved parent requires some investment in time, money and effort, and like every investment, it has challenges. These challenges can easily be combated by the type of mind-set we develop regarding children and their upbringing and then how we teach them. To stop complaining and bring back involved parenting, parents and adults have to look at the following cores; they have to break down parenting such that the role of mothers and fathers are defined. Thereafter, both parents have to be positioned, but continuously repositioned such that their roles are in line with their changing values and statuses both at home and out of home. Parents also have to normalise attitudes in their houses and in society on how they choose to groom their children. After this is done, parents will have to accept that family patterns today are very flexible, that there is a variety of difference in how different genders perceive and execute parenting and that single parents definitely parent differently from every other type of parents.
Involved parents like every other adult battle with themselves, with society, with children, with finances, with socio-cultural and other trials. When ground rules are laid as shown in this book parents, children, and institutions have to start focusing on consistency and continuity with certain degrees of monitoring and evaluation techniques aimed at the betterment of all. Children need to be conscious of the fact that adults are watching over them. As you look after your children, make this book your companion and enjoy the wisdom shared by all participants. Enjoy being an involved parent. Enjoy investing in your children so that they too might enjoy investing in theirs.
‘I wrote both books as a full-time Masters student who graduated within 18 months, a full time working mother of four and a wife, Chief Executive Officer, mentor, motivator and workplace skills development facilitator. My intention is to share how I managed to drive my children every day to and from activities, stayed with them, worked in my garden, fed my family home-cooked meals, supervised homework, made sure that we maintained our lifestyles by attending to every invitation both from schools and peers, and made sure I was with them, how I volunteered my time in their school and in playing with them, and how I did all this and still had time to sit in meetings, conduct training, spend time with their father and never missed a lecture or meeting at University. With your encouragement in time, skills or both, I would like this book to tell every parent, caregiver and guardian that my intention is not for them to be super parents, caregivers and guardians, but for us to be effective parents. Remember, both books document other people’s experiences and stories as well. Please push me. Push my thoughts and push my intention’.
Why read these Books?
These books are meant to redirect parenting, caregiving and guardianship such that old norms are reintroduced for the enjoyment of all; children, adults, institutions, policy-makers and governments. Of course they are not common titles and cited live experiences can also help to boost workplace morale. We do not have enough of parenting in everything we do, and this is almost evident in the type of children that we are grooming. Do we sit back and blame the children?
This set of books are set apart by the fact that they reflect real life situations of our times. The books and projects that will be born of them are aimed to revive the life everywhere including the workplace, and to recreate discussions between individuals and their bosses/employers but also with policy-makers on the topic of parenting. Given that children are tomorrow’s leaders, the creation and preservation of legacies across sectors and at different levels all comes with molding better children for the world. Implementing practices in both books could just be the expansion of your legacy.
Readership of this book is wide. They include working and none-working adults of every gender including: Learners or young adults, parents, caregivers, guardians, policy-makers, administrators, business owners, etc.
· The original books are 200 pages each, cover to cover and written in an easy to read manner.
· This book was self-published and launched on the 3rd of March 2016. Two weeks later (17 March) over 100 copies and counting have been sold.
A copy of the book is sold at R145.00.
- Both books are the main readers. This means that there will be no support to reading them, except in cases where workshops are needed.
- For no other reason, these books are aimed at every adult. They are written to prepare them on how to be self-disciplined, but also how to enjoy grooming children who may not necessarily be theirs.
For now, copies can be bought from the following avenues;
· Victorine on +27 82 548 6385 / www.mbongshu.co.za
· Facebook on http://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book
· Her office/Publishers on +27 11 346 8300/ www.profounder.co.za
· Profound Conference Centre on +27 11 440 7501 / www.profoundconferencecentre.co.za
· Amazon books on (search by book title) or eBook on
Victorine Mbong Shu
Victorine is a businesswoman, researcher, workshops facilitator, conference speaker and chairlady, motivational speaker, wife, author and involved mother to four bubbly children. She is the founder and current chief executive officer of Profounder Intelligence Management Services www.profounder.co.za. Victorine facilitates workshops and seminars for executives and managers on a wide variety of topics. Most of her training are focused at employee and organisation wellness. These training are aimed to build and manage effective and friendly work environments. Through her company, she has accumulated a wide variety of clients that cut across sectors in over 18 countries. Her love for creating relationships that benefit children are eminent in these books. Her desire to expand the discourse beyond bounds has prompted her to initiate a non-governmental organisation named The Involved Corner.
As a mother of 4, employer and motivational speaker my journey and experience could also help to boost workplace morale should she facilitate in-house interactions at your invitation.
I thank you for reading this proposal and I look forward to hear from you. Please like the books’ Facebook page on to contribute or prompt discussions on this area. Work on Involved Parenting will be on www.mbongshu.co.za
Thank you for your time as I anticipate advice on the way forward or a meeting with you at your soonest convenience.
Victorine Mbong Shu.
Author and Conversationist on Involved Parenting
Availability of book
Copies can be bought from the following avenues;
Victorine on +27 82 548 6385
Facebook on https://www.facebook.com/involvedparenting.book
My works on www.mbongshu.co.za
Publisher on +27 11 346 8300/www.profounder.co.za
Xarra Books: www.Xarrabooks.co.za
Online in South Africa: www.sabooksearch.co.za
Hard Copies: +27 11 440 7501- Johannesburg or www.profoundcentre.co.za